|Homelessness by matkaminski: http://matkaminski.deviantart.com/|
Daniel and I hurried by, but just inside the entrance, my husband stopped me. He pulled out his wallet and looked through the cash we had wistfully, finally pulling out a few dollar bills.
"Do you mind if I go give this to that guy?" he asked.
I nodded, adding, "And you can take a few moments to talk to him too, if you want. Me and the kids will hang out and wait for you."
Daniel does this every once in a while. He never gives without trying to start a conversation with the person he is giving to. To introduce himself and hear the other's story. He hasn't yet run in to someone who is unwilling to talk. Most of the folks he has chatted with seem to crave, for just a moment, the chance to converse like a normal human being with someone else who will look them square in the face and ask...and listen.
"Most of those people want that life. They don't have to be there--they've chosen it. If they really wanted to, they could find real work."
I know, I've heard the arguments. Even recently. But after the events that have transpired in my own life, I don't believe them any more. Sometimes, even with a heart full of faith and an incredibly loving God at the helm, life can be tough. Just ask King David. And sometimes, getting a job isn't all that easy.
Does it make me doubt God's love? Well, when I'm in the middle of a really crappy day, maybe it does. (I've said before, "I'm not perfect." Heh. Here's more proof.)
The truth is (and this is what I go back to, after all those niggling doubts) that God is loving. But here's the clencher: His ways are not our ways. So when things go vastly different than I wish them to, it doesn't mean He's withholding something. It means He is actually giving me something I didn't expect (haha, or want?). Like...maybe a fresh perspective.
Let me finish my story.
|Homeless by Cursed-Beauty47: http://www.deviantart.com/art/Homeless-56285819|
What the heck was I doing suggesting Walmart to Daniel that morning? I never go to that Walmart. It's one of the dirtier ones, in a not so great area of town. I don't even think the prices compare to where I usually go, and prices matter these days because we are in challenging circumstances ourselves. I have been frustrated in my prayer life, griping to God about why He has us staying on the good graces of family for so long. It's a humbling and uncomfortable place to be for an extended time period. I have been desperately trying to find His answers to me, somewhere. So, this morning, God gave me an incredible gift: the chance to go to Walmart and meet Tyler.
An opportunity to realize anew how rich and how blessed I am. Right now. In discomfort and humility, I am blessed. The cops haven't "cleared out my camp". I get to take a shower each morning. I have food to eat. It's cold at night, but I'm warm. Wow. I've been given so much. And I'm not to worry, either. Because things are going to get better.
Thank you, Tyler. We'll keep praying for you, Daniel and I. We're so glad we got to meet you and Benji, and we really thank you for giving so much to us this morning from your own meager store. We really appreciate it. Thanks.