Thursday, October 23, 2014
For me, this means my house is spotless and beautifully decorated, a delicious and nutritious dinner is in the works, my kids behaved all day in a manner worthy of Parents Magazine, and I am a Cool Mom because I put together a craft that was not only fun but taught shapes, colors, numbers and letters simultaneously so that my children were happy geniuses by the time they completed it.
Sometimes my day is not so good.
Okay. Both of these scenarios are a little exaggerated. Point being, my life is made up of a little of each. And I'm okay with admitting that. I am. I am okay with being real. There's actually freedom there: I have no illusion of perfection to keep up.
But I feel bad for those folks. They're often the same ones who get a guilt complex after reading Proverbs 31. As if it's a manifesto on womanly perfection which they believe is unattainable, so they see all the things the gal does in that chapter as a list of their own failures. In contrast, I read that chapter like a kind of Freedom Offer. As if God was saying, "Here's a bunch of cool things you can do- what's your pleasure?
Welcome to my house. And by my house, I mean this blog. I can't promise it won't get messy. But it will be honest. After all, it's kinda like my online diary.
Monday, October 13, 2014
The lady holding the skeleton, waved away my concern, as one might flick away a passing fly.
"She's not scared," the lady told me, "She thinks it's funny!"and continued to dangle the grim specter in front of my child.
I looked behind me in concern too see if my son had seen it. He is the more sensitive of the two and deals with more nightmares than my daughter. Grandma had overheard the woman and had seen the skeleton. She was already moving her cart with Caedyn reading a book inside, and was heading the other way. I gently distracted Mystery to the soft fluffy hood on a coat, ("Look at this, Baby. Isn't it beautiful?), pulling her attention away from the cackling decor piece and the entertained women. I saw them roll their eyes at the "overprotective" mother, so unreasonably preventing her child from enjoying a little fun.
No, I decided. I will not share all this with two perfect strangers, who have already demonstrated that they don't care about what I think or how I parent, as soon as they ignored my first comment to them.
Instead, continuing to keep my daughter distracted, I turned the shopping cart around and prepared to go the other way.
An older black gentleman stood nearby. I had noticed him earlier for he had smiled at Mystery before the two ladies had brought out their creepy decor item. He seemed to be patiently waiting for his wife as she shopped the aisle opposite me. He had observed the whole exchange.
"Good for you," he said quietly to me, as I manipulated the shopping cart in the other direction. "I commend you."
But even if I recieve no approval whatever for my parenting choices, I figure my children and what goes in to their little eye gates, is much more my responsibility than a pair of random strangers.
And if that makes me overprotective, than so be it.
As with the decor of Halloween, I'm not trying to push my ideals onto others. But I do think it is important for parents to be affirmed as they make their own decisions regarding how they choose to parent.
If you are a parent who has had to defend your parenting and yet you are doing what you feel is right for your family and kids, if you have made a claim to your right to parent your child only to have it ignored and yet you held your ground anyway, if you have had to walk away to stand up for your choice to parent the way you would like, ignoring the looks of people who hold different values while judging yours...well, then: "You hold to what you believe. They might not say it, but I will: Those little ones are your responsibility. Good for you. I commend you."